Terms of Use

Acceptance of Terms

By existing in any timeline, dimension, or quantum state, you automatically agree to these terms. This agreement is retroactively binding across all possible and impossible versions of yourself.

Temporal Responsibility

Users must:

  • File appropriate paperwork before causing temporal paradoxes
  • Maintain consistent causality whenever possible
  • Avoid unauthorized timeline branching
  • Respect the authority of essential goose personnel

Prohibited Activities

The following are strictly prohibited:

  • Unauthorized reality manipulation
  • Creating temporal paradoxes without proper permits
  • Impersonating essential goose personnel
  • Filing forms in less than triplicate
  • Attempting to optimize bureaucratic efficiency

Liability

The Bureau is not responsible for:

  • Accidental timeline splits
  • Temporal jet lag
  • Paradox-induced headaches
  • Unexpected goose encounters
  • Existential uncertainty

Warning: These terms may have already changed in a future revision. Past and future compliance is mandatory.