Privacy Policy

Information Collection Across All Timelines

The Bureau of Impossible Affairs collects information across all possible and impossible timelines. This includes but is not limited to:

  • Present, past, and future personal data
  • Alternate dimension variations of yourself
  • Quantum state information
  • Temporal metadata
  • Probability coefficients

Data Protection Measures

Your information is secured using advanced temporal encryption and is stored in:

  • Quantum-locked filing cabinets
  • Paradox-proof databases
  • At least three parallel dimensions
  • The collective memory of our essential goose personnel

Your Rights

You have the right to:

  • Request access to your data (Form 14-B required)
  • Correct inaccuracies in any timeline
  • Be forgotten (subject to temporal paradox review)
  • File complaints with our Goose Relations Department

Note: This privacy policy applies retroactively to all past and future versions of yourself across all known and unknown dimensions.